The Greatest Language of Love

Love, is where two hearts meet and knit together through happiness and sadness. Love can make many hearts skip with excitement yet love can also cause many broken hearts. It takes little effort for one to become a romantic partner. The many creative and interesting ways to add romance in relationship can be readily found in books, magazines, and the internet.

It takes great effort for those in pursuit of a deeper love relationship that could survive many unprepared and unexpected storms. Many will readily say “yes” when asked whether they are romantic lovers. However, few will admit that they are consummate lovers that does not seek the returns of love but are willing to devote their lives in giving true happiness to the person they love.

Whether you are in love, falling out of love or have never been in love, it is never too early or too late to learn the greatest language of love. Learning to love is a growing process. It always starts off with the special feelings that could not get your mind off from thinking about the special person. If such feelings are experienced by the two persons who are about to fall in love, it leads to an eclectic stage where both eyes and hearts are strongly magnetized towards each other. Great deal of time is now spent together as the sparks of love turn into burning flames; where romance is at its peak.

However, this journey of love which initially took off to Caribbean beach; surrounded by sunset and paradise, soon landed on the pathway of reality. The flames of love have gradually smothered as the demands and expectations of life set in.

For some, the flames have smothered into shimmering sparks similar to that found in the fire flies. These sparks are soon carried by the fire flies to ignite another flame with someone else. This is when love causes heartaches and trust, betrayed. Yet for many, the flames have smothered into dust, leaving the relationship dry and dull.

This is when the very core of love is tested. The survivability of the relationship is no longer depended on whether roses are given or romantic candle light dinner is prepared. It is about whether the relationship can survive the storm with determination and commitment to help each face the storm; as well as unconditional and sacrificial love to give hope and faith in surviving the storm together.

In facing such relentless storm that could break or build the relationship, what is the greatest language of love? Most conservatists will opt for the most classic language that is widely spoken, from youthful passions to mature companionships, a language that has touched and warmed many hearts: “I Love You”!

As simple and classic as it may sound, some took great bravery to confess it; some said it casually to create momentary romance that soon fades away; while many have said it again and again, to the point of death that life has ended well because of the power of love.

This indeed is the greatest language of love. Not spoken with selfish and manipulative intentions but with the deepest desire to cherish the moments spent with your loved one, to be a pillar of strength though various seasons of life, and to hold on tightly to each other even at the point of diminishing hope, because after the storm is gone, sunrise and sunset will soon appear.

The storm is here but a moment. The sunset and sunrise last a life time for as long as both hearts keep guarding the flames and never put it off……“till death do us part”.

Taming Your Tongue When You're Angry

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." If you answered yes to the title question I am sure you have realized the truth in this quote by Ambrose Bierce. In order to gain control over your tongue you must be determined to see things differently. People who lose their temper tend to view life in a negative and judgmental way. You have the ability to direct your mind away from angry and upset feelings. You need to realize that you can have peace of mind instead of conflict.

This article will cover a variety of mindsets and behaviors that will teach you how to keep your mouth shut when you are angry.

1) Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Remember that you have two ears and only one mouth. Use them in this proportion. It's better to be a good listener than to be a good speaker. Listen carefully to what the other person has to say. Take your time before giving them an answer.

2) Don't be double minded. You can't have peace of mind and conflict at the same time. Be clearly focused on the outcome that you want. (Example: "I want to go to bed tonight feeling close to my partner.").

3) You can't be right and be married. You have to decide "Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?" Trying to be right will destroy the connection between you. Instead, strive to do the right thing.

4) Don't jump to conclusions. Slow down and think through the situation.

5) Don't say the first thing that comes into your head. I often hear people say, "I cannot keep from saying the thoughts I have." You can and you must.

6) As I was writing this, my daughter reminded me of Thumper's quote in the movie, "Bambi". "If you can't say something nice…don't say nothing at all." This is always good advice.

7) Don't overreact to criticism. Beneath the criticism is an underlying message. Criticism is a smoke screen for deeper feelings. I compare criticism to cheese on a mousetrap. What happens when the mouse takes the cheese? He gets his tail caught in the trap. That's what happens when you take the bait of criticism. Don't take the bait. Listen for the underlying message.

8) Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, "I hate this!" "This is driving me crazy!" "I can't stand this!" These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as "I can handle this." "This is not that big of a deal." "I have unshakeable peace of mind." "Nothing bothers me." Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace.

9) If someone uses absolute terms like "always", "never", "everybody", and "nobody"; don't take them literally. These are emotional terms. If your wife says "You never take me anywhere." and you know that's not true; don't take it as a personal attack. Try and hear her underlying request that she needs to know she is special and she wants to spend some time with you.

10) Don't overreact and don't give advice too quickly. This only trains people not to be open with you.

11) Don't try to get in the last word. It's not worth the damage you could do by trying to win or be heard.

12) If you are angry repeat this scripture based verse in your head, "In all things be self controlled." Say it over and over so that you don't get derailed into an argument.

13) There is life and death in the spoken word. Make sure your words build people up versus tearing them down.

14) Remember to breathe. Stick with the basics. When you are upset, take a few deep breaths.

15) Strive to use an approach that promotes honor and respect. This can make the difference between a twenty minute argument and a 3 day war.

16) Realize that your anger most likely is not going to help solve the problem and may actually make the matter worse.

17) Calmness will help you get to the heart of the matter. This leads to conflict resolution. Trying to be right or show your might will lead to conflict.

18) Staying connected is more important than making your point.

The only one who is responsible for the way your life works out is you. You cannot change the past, but you can take responsibility for your future. All it takes is a decision. Decide to live a life of discipline rather than one of regret. Remember that discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons. Develop the power of a tamed tongue.